I lost a wonderful pet Sunday morning, and the sad part is she wasn't mine for long.  I never mentioned this here, but one of my cats had 5 kittens about 9 weeks ago. 4 were big and healthy, 2 orange, 1 tan, and 1 a plump Siamese looking thing, but one was small and sickly. Her eyes were infected, she chocked when she ate, but we had a special bond and she was a fighter. I named her Lion, for I was convinced she would end up being the biggest and strongest one day. She loved being sung to, especially the "Boat Song" by JJ Heller.
       Eventually she found her voice, her appetite, and my shoulder where she loved to perch. She would turn and softly mew in my ear as if telling me a secret. She slowly got better at eating things, she began to grow, she got round, and adventurous, she was even learning to play with her siblings, something she really struggled with since they were 3 times her own tiny self. Sadly her life came to an abrupt stop. We found her very weak, struggling to draw breath, and I knew it was goodbye. I had seen this once before. I stroked her body and told her how very loved she was and an hour later she was gone. Buried in the cardboard box I had made into a bed, with her little plastic dinosaur she actually had no interest in, and it was over. I miss her very much, and so does her kitty family.

                      

The Secret Voice

Rain

        I know my blog may seem boring to all, but Hey its RAINING!!!!! Also its 75 degrees. This rain couldn't have come at a better time. Our first city brush fire occured yesterday and now we have a good hard down pour, and I am thinking GOD. I am so very happy the weather man was wrong when he showed this morning that out city was not going to get any of the much needed rain. The only problem is my library stuff is due today and now i can't walk.

                  

                       

The Secret Voice

            The Current Temperature here is 109 degrees and it is harsh. I attempted to beat the heat with a water gun fight, but of course right after that is when the temps really started to increase. Literally within a minute my computer went from saying 102, which wasn’t so bad, to saying 106.  At least the humidity is only about 20% today so that is a plus. I am so ready for a vacation to the beach or something.

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Camp

                This week I was a church camp. I am positive it is one of the most exhausting and challenging things I have ever done in my short life. I was accountable for 5 young girls while they were in my college apartment on the Campus where camp took place. I had to make sure these children got to bed each night, had showered, brushed teeth, and I had to wake them up at 6-6:30 each morning. I had to ensure these children did not lose or forget a thing (which honestly did not happen, they forgot A LOT). During the day when our church children were not with camp counselors I had to keep track of 6 lovely yet often aggravating girls. I was in charge of leading them in our bible studies, which I thought our church leader was nuts for thinking I could do. God gave me the words to say in this week. He gave me girls that would test my strength and encourage me to scrounge up all the grace I could muster. I feel this week gave me an insight in to my future. I try to see every experience as a lesson that will prepare me for when I someday have my own children that will need guidance.

                All week there were young eyes watching me. Processing how I handled things, and quite honestly there were a few times when my frustration came through, with one in particular who wanted everyone around her to be miserable, and a boy who just seemed so annoying to me. I worked so hard trying to understand why this girl claimed she hated everything, when I knew good- and- well she was thoroughly enjoying her activities, for some reason she just wanted to be miserable, and it did get to me. I tried to get her to make friends, I pointed out the wonderful things she was doing, I encouraged her all day, made sure she was included in bible study, but nothing worked. In a way I fill I failed some test by God. I want to be that wise person the children turn to for guidance. I want to have all the answers, but instead as soon as I am spoken to I clam up or get all tongue tied. EVERY FREAKIN TIME! I feel that there was great discussion amongst me and my bible study group, even if we never had time to finish a whole lesson because 1 or 2 children had very long stories to tell about times they were a modern Daniels, or because I was working so hard to get them to give me an example of such and such and all they could ever come up with was Jesus. Yes Jesus is a good answer, but I would like a little more when asking “Is there a person in your life such as a family member or friend that represents a modern day Daniel” (if you haven’t guessed we focused on Daniel this week. So it was a tough week, but at the end I was covered in shaving cream and I saw what children had been working on, and it was great.

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TV Drama

    Why does there have to be so much drama on TV? What happen to the days of Full House, The Cosby Show, Out of This World (Yes I realize all these shows started before I was even born)? Television these days is so full of trash I just can’t stand it. Every show is exactly the same; these two are sleeping together while sleeping with these other people who happen to be sleeping with these other people. Seriously! I also wonder why it is that someone would want to watch this. Are they viewing it because they can relate or because it makes them feel better about whatever may be going on in their own lives? I’m sure if anyone were to ever read this they would be thinking to themselves “Why are you stressing over this, if you don’t like it just don’t watch it and keep your opinion to yourself,” the problem is though that I wish for a show or two that I can actually enjoy, something with a fascinating story line, a show that is different. It may sound childish but I have such an imagination full of so many stories I just want something fantastic that can tickle the imagination. Is that too much to ask for?

The Secret Voice

Intro

                This is my blog, obviously. I can guarantee there won’t be anything extraordinary on these pages, just the thoughts of a regular American college student trying to find a way in this painfully exhausting, and overly frustrating world. I am not wise so you can forget about finding your great words of wisdom here. I just feel that since I have a voice and am painfully shy in person I would speak here safe and sound where I cannot see any judging stares. I highly doubt anyone will find this blog and if they do they won’t last long for that is quite honestly the story of my life. No one bothers with me on Facebook, no one tweets me, I am not invited anywhere, and I have not had a true friend in 5 years, and all of this is sad, but my motto has become life goes on and until a friend shows up I will just chill with God and the many preschoolers I happen to often be in the presence of. Well this was a nice first post until next time.

The Secret Voice