One Less

Last Night there became one less orphan in the world. A family from my church stepped out of a plane and we were there to welcome them home with their beautiful, rambuctious new four year old son. Welcome home Caleb James Shu.

Our sign was ready

We waited

And waited

And there they were! Our first sigtings of this beautiful boy. He was worth the two long years of waiting and praying

First time meeting his grandma

His Joyful, Beautiful new momma

The Balloon a dangerous fun new toy

The adorable welcoming committee

The Beautiful family of seven plus grandparents. Welcome Home Grahams and many happy memories

Please pray for this family as they adjust to life with this very sweet overactive boy. Attachment is going well, and he is such a happy boy. Pray for the future surgeries he will need to hopefully give him sight in his eye that has a glaucoma. God couldn't have picked a better family to be his forever.

The Secret Voice

Not behind a mask

I never know what to say on this blog. I created it as a way to let my feelings known even if no one cares to hear them. The truth is I am far from put together. I struggle each and everyday. Nothing has ever come easy to me, except writing, but recently even that has been challenged by the great professors of college, and the even greater writers within my creative writing class. This semester I have been shot down a countless amount of times, because I'm just not as good.
I can't turn the political leaders of our current times, into books of the bible and make it a poem. I don't have horrific events to talk about, I've never had a guy so theirs no tragic break up, and I don't get caught up in stupid drama so that is one more topic I cannot discuss.
When I am struggling I pray, and talk to people in the church. I have never felt the need to put on a mask and pretend that my life is fabulous, because it is not, and I don't want anyone to think it is. I daily struggle to read my bible (and quite honestly it usually doesn't get done), I have a temper, I freak out when people ask me questions, I struggle to get words to come out right, sometimes people don't understand me. I am an outcast, but I feel that someday my differences will help. If I show my true colors maybe others will be comfortable confiding in me. I don't want to be another Christian that non-Christian's view as better than them, because their lives seem so perfect. I can guarantee, everyone has a skeleton in their closet.

Holly

This is Holly. She is an Orphan at New Day Foster Home just outside of Beijing, China. Holly will soon be twelve years old which means only two more years to find a family.

She desperately wants a family to call her own. Holly loves all things girly, and according to her Foster Family would be in heaven in a house full of baby dolls. She is sweet and kind. Could you possibly be her family?

 

 

The Secret Voice

 

Fun Photo Friday

           Look What came to town

Trials for the Files

  

       Sometimes being a "semi-adult" (I don't want to rush adulthood there) sucks. Sure children now see me as an adult they are expected to listen to, Hooray. But with adulthood comes bills that for some odd reason I am expected to pay. I know weird right. 

     So anyways financial aid, it would seem, doesn't appear to be to concerned about coming to my aid this year, so there may definitely be hard times this school year. On top of stupid ridiculously fun school tuition bills, there is the whole, the cute dentist needs to fix all my teeth and possibly perform a root canal problem.

    Yeah, I know what you mean. "Wow you have more problems then the average nice college student needs." i totally agree, but a bacteria has been forming under my tooth since last years check up and they caught it last week when I went in complaining of a dreadful toothache. But the fun doesn't end there my good people who aren't actually reading this blog. No, the bacteria couldn't just chill in one tooth and let my unending suffering end. No it had to spread its love to many of my other teeth, and now they need work done. oh I wish I could just hide in a whole and spend my life watching old TV shows, reading the Hardy Books, and patiently waiting for the readers digest each month. I wish life could just be simple for a little while. Pray.

                             

The Secret Voice

         I lost a wonderful pet Sunday morning, and the sad part is she wasn't mine for long.  I never mentioned this here, but one of my cats had 5 kittens about 9 weeks ago. 4 were big and healthy, 2 orange, 1 tan, and 1 a plump Siamese looking thing, but one was small and sickly. Her eyes were infected, she chocked when she ate, but we had a special bond and she was a fighter. I named her Lion, for I was convinced she would end up being the biggest and strongest one day. She loved being sung to, especially the "Boat Song" by JJ Heller.
       Eventually she found her voice, her appetite, and my shoulder where she loved to perch. She would turn and softly mew in my ear as if telling me a secret. She slowly got better at eating things, she began to grow, she got round, and adventurous, she was even learning to play with her siblings, something she really struggled with since they were 3 times her own tiny self. Sadly her life came to an abrupt stop. We found her very weak, struggling to draw breath, and I knew it was goodbye. I had seen this once before. I stroked her body and told her how very loved she was and an hour later she was gone. Buried in the cardboard box I had made into a bed, with her little plastic dinosaur she actually had no interest in, and it was over. I miss her very much, and so does her kitty family.

                      

The Secret Voice

Rain

        I know my blog may seem boring to all, but Hey its RAINING!!!!! Also its 75 degrees. This rain couldn't have come at a better time. Our first city brush fire occured yesterday and now we have a good hard down pour, and I am thinking GOD. I am so very happy the weather man was wrong when he showed this morning that out city was not going to get any of the much needed rain. The only problem is my library stuff is due today and now i can't walk.

                  

                       

The Secret Voice

            The Current Temperature here is 109 degrees and it is harsh. I attempted to beat the heat with a water gun fight, but of course right after that is when the temps really started to increase. Literally within a minute my computer went from saying 102, which wasn’t so bad, to saying 106.  At least the humidity is only about 20% today so that is a plus. I am so ready for a vacation to the beach or something.

The Secret voice

  

Camp

                This week I was a church camp. I am positive it is one of the most exhausting and challenging things I have ever done in my short life. I was accountable for 5 young girls while they were in my college apartment on the Campus where camp took place. I had to make sure these children got to bed each night, had showered, brushed teeth, and I had to wake them up at 6-6:30 each morning. I had to ensure these children did not lose or forget a thing (which honestly did not happen, they forgot A LOT). During the day when our church children were not with camp counselors I had to keep track of 6 lovely yet often aggravating girls. I was in charge of leading them in our bible studies, which I thought our church leader was nuts for thinking I could do. God gave me the words to say in this week. He gave me girls that would test my strength and encourage me to scrounge up all the grace I could muster. I feel this week gave me an insight in to my future. I try to see every experience as a lesson that will prepare me for when I someday have my own children that will need guidance.

                All week there were young eyes watching me. Processing how I handled things, and quite honestly there were a few times when my frustration came through, with one in particular who wanted everyone around her to be miserable, and a boy who just seemed so annoying to me. I worked so hard trying to understand why this girl claimed she hated everything, when I knew good- and- well she was thoroughly enjoying her activities, for some reason she just wanted to be miserable, and it did get to me. I tried to get her to make friends, I pointed out the wonderful things she was doing, I encouraged her all day, made sure she was included in bible study, but nothing worked. In a way I fill I failed some test by God. I want to be that wise person the children turn to for guidance. I want to have all the answers, but instead as soon as I am spoken to I clam up or get all tongue tied. EVERY FREAKIN TIME! I feel that there was great discussion amongst me and my bible study group, even if we never had time to finish a whole lesson because 1 or 2 children had very long stories to tell about times they were a modern Daniels, or because I was working so hard to get them to give me an example of such and such and all they could ever come up with was Jesus. Yes Jesus is a good answer, but I would like a little more when asking “Is there a person in your life such as a family member or friend that represents a modern day Daniel” (if you haven’t guessed we focused on Daniel this week. So it was a tough week, but at the end I was covered in shaving cream and I saw what children had been working on, and it was great.

The Secret Voice

TV Drama

    Why does there have to be so much drama on TV? What happen to the days of Full House, The Cosby Show, Out of This World (Yes I realize all these shows started before I was even born)? Television these days is so full of trash I just can’t stand it. Every show is exactly the same; these two are sleeping together while sleeping with these other people who happen to be sleeping with these other people. Seriously! I also wonder why it is that someone would want to watch this. Are they viewing it because they can relate or because it makes them feel better about whatever may be going on in their own lives? I’m sure if anyone were to ever read this they would be thinking to themselves “Why are you stressing over this, if you don’t like it just don’t watch it and keep your opinion to yourself,” the problem is though that I wish for a show or two that I can actually enjoy, something with a fascinating story line, a show that is different. It may sound childish but I have such an imagination full of so many stories I just want something fantastic that can tickle the imagination. Is that too much to ask for?

The Secret Voice

Intro

                This is my blog, obviously. I can guarantee there won’t be anything extraordinary on these pages, just the thoughts of a regular American college student trying to find a way in this painfully exhausting, and overly frustrating world. I am not wise so you can forget about finding your great words of wisdom here. I just feel that since I have a voice and am painfully shy in person I would speak here safe and sound where I cannot see any judging stares. I highly doubt anyone will find this blog and if they do they won’t last long for that is quite honestly the story of my life. No one bothers with me on Facebook, no one tweets me, I am not invited anywhere, and I have not had a true friend in 5 years, and all of this is sad, but my motto has become life goes on and until a friend shows up I will just chill with God and the many preschoolers I happen to often be in the presence of. Well this was a nice first post until next time.

The Secret Voice