This
week I was a church camp. I am positive it is one of the most exhausting and challenging
things I have ever done in my short life. I was accountable for 5 young girls
while they were in my college apartment on the Campus where camp took place. I
had to make sure these children got to bed each night, had showered, brushed
teeth, and I had to wake them up at 6-6:30 each morning. I had to ensure these
children did not lose or forget a thing (which honestly did not happen, they
forgot A LOT). During the day when our church children were not with camp
counselors I had to keep track of 6 lovely yet often aggravating girls. I was
in charge of leading them in our bible studies, which I thought our church
leader was nuts for thinking I could do. God gave me the words to say in this
week. He gave me girls that would test my strength and encourage me to scrounge
up all the grace I could muster. I feel this week gave me an insight in to my
future. I try to see every experience as a lesson that will prepare me for when
I someday have my own children that will need guidance.
All week there were young eyes
watching me. Processing how I handled things, and quite honestly there were a
few times when my frustration came through, with one in particular who wanted
everyone around her to be miserable, and a boy who just seemed so annoying to
me. I worked so hard trying to understand why this girl claimed she hated
everything, when I knew good- and- well she was thoroughly enjoying her
activities, for some reason she just wanted to be miserable, and it did get to
me. I tried to get her to make friends, I pointed out the wonderful things she
was doing, I encouraged her all day, made sure she was included in bible study,
but nothing worked. In a way I fill I failed some test by God. I want to be
that wise person the children turn to for guidance. I want to have all the
answers, but instead as soon as I am spoken to I clam up or get all tongue
tied. EVERY FREAKIN TIME! I feel that there was great discussion amongst me and
my bible study group, even if we never had time to finish a whole lesson
because 1 or 2 children had very long stories to tell about times they were a
modern Daniels, or because I was working so hard to get them to give me an
example of such and such and all they could ever come up with was Jesus. Yes Jesus
is a good answer, but I would like a little more when asking “Is there a person
in your life such as a family member or friend that represents a modern day
Daniel” (if you haven’t guessed we focused on Daniel this week. So it was a
tough week, but at the end I was covered in shaving cream and I saw what
children had been working on, and it was great.
The Secret Voice
