Those who know me know that I am far from ordinary. I may live a rather boring life. For the last two weeks I have been spending my mornings curled up in bed reading or watching videos until 12 in the afternoon. I see nothing wrong with this though. As one of my college leaders at church often reminds me "Enjoy this time in your life while you can. This is the least busy you will be for the rest of your life." So What if I am not out running around. I have been planning ways to give this up coming Christmas, and planning how I will do better this school year. I wish I had someone to hold me to that.
Funny none of this is what I came on here to say. I wanted more to talk out the out of the ordinary future I know God has in the making for me. From a very young age God planted in my heart to adopt. Some who I have managed to get to read this far may be thinking "What's the big deal, lots of people adopt." This is where my hopes, and what I hope is on God's agenda for me, get interesting. I don't just want to simply adopt, I want to adopt children (yes multiple) with special needs. So many websites and blogs telling their stories and the stories of hundreds of children they call by name, have affected me so intensely that I know this has to be one of God's plans for my life. If you caught the last half of that sentence you will notice I said ONE of God's plans for me, for I do not think that is where it ends. Oh No not only will I be adopting children with special needs I may also by the grace of God get the opportunity to welcome older children aging out of orphanage care systems. I am really hoping for a Chinese teenage son, and an Eastern European daughter not quite in her teens, but who knows!
Along with the pain and frustration, and JOY that comes along with these adoptions I feel that God wants me to be a Foster Parent (I am starting to worry for the guy that marries me someday.) There is such a desperate need for people to step up and love those deemed unlovable, or broken. You don't have to be great, just able ( a stubborn streak may also help at times.) There are so many children who have never had any form of stability in their lives. I can't guarantee they will have an easy time or that they will get to be in my home long, but while they are there I can try to show This task that God is putting me up to is terrifying to me. I am scared for my well being as well as the well being of my future family but the bile says in Psalms 18: 32-34 "It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights. He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze."
I feel like for so long God has been preparing me for this battle along with the battle of raising any child. My entire life I have watched and listened and questioned every choice made the parents I know. I have attempted to soak up every bit of information anyone has so that I will not fail. I want to be a mother that my children are proud to claim. That taught them how amazing our God is. I want to be a mother who encouraged her kids to go after their dreams, and the person their friends can come to if they have nobody else.
Before I end I want to mention one last child that may be mine. I imagine she will be my last but who knows. I think about her often. Maybe she will have bright blue eyes, or perfect blonde curls. Her name will be something to marvel at I'm sure. One thing I do know is that she will have Down Syndrome, and she will be an example to the world that a disability is not a thing to fear, but a thing to embrace. I know she will kick the butt of any stereotype a doctor or uneducated onlooker happens to try to stick to her. There are many kids in my future and even though they have probably not even been born yet I love them all with such an intensity. They are my future and I couldn't be prouder.
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